Kink Podcast: Exploring the Kink Scene in Southwestern Ontario
Join Magz and special guest Bernie, for a candid and honest kink podcast discussion about the kink scene in Southwestern Ontario
Welcome to Kink Outbound, your favorite kink podcast with your host, Magz! Today, we have a special guest, Bernie, joining us for an in-depth conversation about the kink scene right here in Southwestern Ontario.
Together, we’ll explore the fascinating history of kink in the region, from its underground roots to its modern-day presence. We’ll talk about societal barriers and stigmas faced by the kink community, and how they impact people exploring their identities. Plus, we’ll dive into local munches and parties—how they create safe, welcoming spaces for kinksters to connect. Stick around for an eye-opening discussion!
You can connect with Bernie on fettlife.com by searching for his user name @BernieRoehl.
Powered by RedCircle
Follow along or skip ahead to your favorite topic
00:00 Bernie shares his introductin to the kink scene at the age of 17.
02:13 1990’s Kitchener and Waterloo area. The internet became popular and alt.sex.bondage became a space for people to meet.
03:16 Newsgroups such as alt.sex.bondage allowed people to meet and talk about commonalities, and then around 1993, this evolved into meeting at restaurants for meals and chats, which were referred to as MUNCHES. Munches have been a long standing practice in the kink community since then. Even Covid couldnt stop the munches, which continued to occur on Zoom.
04:40 FetLife, a social platform for kinksters, was launched on January 3, 2008, by John Kopanas who was a software engineer in Montreal, Quebec. BDSM Ontario is a local group on fetlife which is one of the first ones created.
05:45 Magz was introduced to kink by accident when she broke her leg and literally got stuck at Rainbow Ridge and had the pleasure of experiencing a Kinky camping weekend in July 2024. The rest is hostory
09:34 Societal expectations and stepping out of the vanilla box of monogamy and heterosexuality invokes fear. Open communication and candid talk about sex and kink helps us to step out of boxes of expectation and judgment, transmuting the fear that society has placed on us. The kink community is an open and accepting safe space which enables folks to step outside of the box. Everyone in the community has had that expeirence of stepping out of the box, going to their first munch, or meeting their first kinky person.
16:00 Experiencing anxiety when going to your first munch
30:00 Dangers of fetlife and advantages of being in the confines of the kink community and having an opportunity to vet potential play partners. Be aware that there is safety within the community. There is a much higher risk when meeting strangers off the internet. The best advice is to go to munches, meet people, and consider attending parties.
33:15 Munch attire (18+) – Casual clothing. Try to refrain from fett clothing because themuches usually occur in restaurants, which are public places.
35:00 Acceptable conversation during a munch. Be mindful of your enviroment and who is around you. Munches take place in the ‘vanilla’ world so we want to make sure that conversations that some may consider as inappropriate by some, are not overheard by patrons or staff of the establishment. Use your common sense so that no one around you is offended.
38:57 Parties. Munches are opportunities to vet people before they are offered opportunities to attend parties. It is also a wonderful way to meet other people who attend the parties.
14:51 What to expect at parties. Attending a party does not mean that one must play. Its absolutely OK to attend a party and to watch and become comfortable before deciding to play. Volunteering at a party is a great way to get comfortable with the new envoriment and may be a great way to assimilate into the lifesty. Parties usually have a play space and a social space, so one can moderate in the space they want to be in.
48:26 Music during a party
51:32 Playing, signing up for props and space. You can sign up for furniture, but bring your own toys, for hygenic reasons.
53:14 Pick up play VS bringing your own partner. Negotating boundries, safe words and establishing rapport with new play partners.
54:35 What is allowed and not allowed at parties. Specifically at a NANO party. Please read the rules before attending and be aware of what is and isnt allowed. Generally there are two types of parties. Ones that allow sex during a party, and ones that don’t.
56:21 What is after care and what is involved. Playing can be an intense experience and you want to ease out of that experience gradually. Have the converation with your play partners in regard to what they need. Asking who should provide the after care, just in case there is a partner that should fulfill that role.
58:45 Types of after care could be to cover someone with a blanket, holding them, talking to them, caressing them. Offering a glass of water is always a good idea. Following up the next day to check in is also a great idea, just to make sure they are not experiencing sub drop.
01:01:00 Sub drop is a common after-effect following a play session. Essentially it is a coming down from a high which needs to be recognized and acknowledged.
01:06:24 Bernies final thoughts. Join fetlife.com.
